Sunday, 1 July 2007

In search of those on my journey

I have taken the time to go through the internet in search of those on the same journey as me, it's been interesting but the one that really caught my eye is one who shares the same blog name as me, only in wordpress (while I am on blogspot).
Kenn (www.myjourneywithaids.wordpress.com) about 'coming out' and I admire his courage. The T-shirt he wears tells you all what you may need to know and he has even published a photo of himself on the web. People, I am not even using my real name (Juanita is my pseudo) let alone publishing my photo... yes, I am a coward. Say it. I can take it. Right now, I cannot even imagine facing my own family with the news and I am thankful for little mercies such as the web, for here I can releive my problems and have people like you walking with me, without having to look at me any different as you do not know me physically).
Speaking of coming out, I cannot imagine the reactions from everyone that I would be 'coming out to' and could only wish for a happy and neutral meeting, though I know that's a lot of wishful thinking. My boy is still at my mums and will be there for a while. I would like to use the time on my own, pondering on my next sequence of events.
I will be going to a clinic tomorrow for advice and councelling. I was supposed to have done this days ago, but didn't get around to it. I will also need to learn about medication, what, which, where, when... and I will brave myself to ask about any active groups of people like me (the dying? the infected? the affected? Who the hell are people like me?) that hold anonymous meetings or something like that.
I have lost about 9kg in the last two weeks, mostly out of stress and worry, not illness. I will need to work on that for various reasons, one being stereotype. See what I mean (http://www.eastandard.net/mag/mag.php?id=1143970598&catid=300). As for now, the journey continues. Maybe I am going crazy, but it now seems abit funny. I feel like I am walking along this long winding road, all on my own and when I hear apporaching footsteps, some kind of noise, whatever, I jump into the bush and keep still till all is quiet, then I carry on with my journey. It's a mixture of feelings. I feel alone and in need of someone to walk by me, but I do not want my face seen, my identity out... something like that.

4 comments:

Kenn Chaplin said...

((Juanita)),

May whatever God is bless you!

As you will read on my blog, living with HIV has its bad and good days - whether directly or indirectly related to the disease. But I cannot tell you how touched I am that you reached across the oceans and found me. Two living with HIV is easier than one!

Please continue to comment and read my long history of living with HIV. I will reciprocate and visit your blog frequently.

You will disclose as much as you can, whenever you can. Remember that I was infected no less than 18-and-a-quarter years ago so I have had a lot of time to work on being as open and forthcoming as I try to be today.

My hope for you is that you will have access to the best possible treatments so that your experience with HIV will be as a long-term survivor like me!

Hugs from Canada,

Kenn

Jamie said...

Hi Juanita.
Kenn is my cousin(long lost).I found him again through his blog after his brother Craig passed.
I`m glad you found his blog and I`m glad I found yours.I don`t have HIV or AIDS so I don`t understand what you`re going through.
My website and blog are just about about a political battle with our Liberals over Breed Specific Legislation.Not important compared to your and Kenn`s issues.
I wish you well and hope you get the good treatment you deserve.
I`ll continue to read your blog and you`ll see me on Kenn`s quite a bit.My name is Jamie(Female).
Mac is my dog.
Be strong and God bless.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

Hello Journeyman

You came by a friends blog, and I see you are new the HIV path. My name is Jeremy and like Kenn, I have been on this road mow 14 years. You can find me here:

http://jeremiahandrews.wordpress.com/

Chin up young person, this isn't the end, and never give up we are here to help you. I work in the HIV counseling field for a long time now.

Cheers

Jeremy A

Onda Maris said...

as jeremiah alreaady said, this is not the end, just a beginning of a new way. wishing you all the best on your way,
greetings from berlin, germany
http://ondamaris.blogspot.com/